Thursday, May 24, 2012

MAY 24, 2012

Good behavioral reporting in a Washington Post story yesterday morning
about life among our very Secret Service.  Four agents, it says, "are
arguing that the agency is making them scapegoats for charges that the
Secret Service has long tolerated."

Oh wow, I can read the agents' manual now.   First, it might say, get
to the hotel. Then find the bar.  See if there are good-looking women
there.  If not, the bartender may be able to suggest other locations.
Wherever you find them, talk to them.  Be tough, be masculine. Then,
if any of you speaks the language…this was in Columbia, so that will
probably be easy.  Nepal, now, would be tougher. Great views of the
mountains there, but of course you can't bed them.  Once you have
found the woman and bargained with her, find a room. Yours, hers,
whomever's. If you need guidance after that, this column can't help

Oh, except--if you see a reporter, better shoot the slob, otherwise,
who knows where the story could end up?  Could be it's not so very
secret after all.


Now comes word from an anonymous Secret Service spokesman that "what
happens on the road (it was Columbia, remember?) stays on the road."

I suppose both sides can claim some some right to military secrets.
The Secret Service is semi-military, I guess.  And one of the
nicknames for women who ply the oldest profession-- though soldiers
and flacks are up there too--is "hookers."  The name, some say, comes
from a general in the Civil War.  Fought on the Union side, by the
way, and attracted a bevy of "lady" campfollowers.

Meanwhile, the Post reports a 2008 case in which a uniformed Secret
Service agent attempted to pick up an undercover cop posing as a
prostitute.  Good hunting. guys.

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